mmmm
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 07-17-2005 Location:
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posted on 07-17-2005 at 18:36 |
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any virgins over 25? dating problems
My boyfriend just dumped me because im a virgin. I'm 26 and he's 27. I really don't think there are any guys in their 20s that are willing to wait for a virgin. Sorry girls but you will not have an easy time finding a guy....mind you this was a good guy to. Didnt drink or do drugs, well educated with a nice job. When you do have sex make sure it's with someone you love and someone worthy of you. Dont do it just because eveyone else is doing it. But dating now in my mid twenties is rediculous. If i had lost it at a normal age i dont think i would have had this problem of not finding a man. Sorry to anyone i offended but i feel like crap and this waiting for marriage stuff here in the US just doesnt cut it. Im waiting but becayse im waiting ill probably never get married. Think about it. Hopefully ill find the man of my dreams and he will be ok with it but im sorry it doesnt seem like it will ever happen. :(
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MightyMusicMouse1987
Newbie
Posts: 8
Registered: 01-09-2005 Location: Kansas City, MO
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posted on 07-18-2005 at 05:45 |
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You can do it!
Hi, Sweetie.
First of all, good job for waiting!!! :D
Anyway, my boyfriend is 25 (he's not a virgin, which I'm not fond of at all, but he's a great guy) and he's waiting for me (which makes up for him not being a virgin), and I'm waiting for marriage, so all is good. And you're not alone. :)
And in case you're wondering, he lost his virginity when he was 20 (yeah, a guy waited until he was mature enough! :D). There's no "normal" age to lose one's virginity. Sure, there's an average age, but who ever said average was normal? Is it normal for marriage to end in divorce? (over half of 'em end that way.) Of course it's not normal, but if you make a marriage work out, you're definitely in the minority.
Good things are often in the minority. That's what makes them precious. They're rare & beautiful.
...Like virgins with brains...rare & beautiful. :)
If you're with a guy who can't wait, he's not the one for you. A person's virginity is very precious, and if he can't see that, then he's not worth your time.
Waiting until marriage is a *beautiful* thing.
But you (along with everyone else on this message board) already knew that.
And you (and everyone else on the board) are special and wonderful, and you're smarter than to compromise your virginity for the sake of dating.
Decent/patient guys do exist; they're just really hard to find. Before I stumbled upon my guy, I felt like you do right now. I felt like I'd be alone forever, and no one wanted a virgin, and as far as love/romance/dating went, I was screwed (no pun intended). But if you just have faith and love in yourself, you'll find a guy worth holding on to...just like I did. :)
And, just like you want a guy to wait for you, you're going to have to wait for that guy to come along. You have to give a little to get a little.
Ah, karma.
I know it's tough being a virgin in the US because the f***king media pounds sex into everyone's heads, but I hope you find a wonderful guy who either is a virgin and/or is okay with waiting for marriage. (I say "and" because some virgins aren't happy with being virgins and they just wanna do it/get it over with because they're horny. Ugh. But, again, you know better than that.)
Remember; good things come to those who wait, and if a guy can't wait, he won't get your good thing. ;)
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mmmm
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 07-17-2005 Location:
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posted on 07-21-2005 at 10:23 |
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thanks
you're right...thanks for the encouragement.
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blade
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 09-20-2005 Location: England, UK
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posted on 09-20-2005 at 01:05 |
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You're Strong!
You sound bitter about this, but let me get something straight. Your boyfriend dumped you BECAUSE you were a virgin and for no other reason? I'll be blunt with you. Hes a linear-thinking pea-brained jerk. Plain and simple. Sorry, but I can't be any nicer then that. Does being a virgin make you a bad person? Does being a virgin mean you have the personality of a peanut? No it doesn't. It means you have the strength to do something millions of other people can't do. I'm 28, and I'm waiting for 'the one'. I believe a woman's biggest moment of emotion and passion is when she loses her virginity to her husband on her wedding night. And I've chosen to wait and share that moment with her, when my day comes, despite having opportunities thrown at me from lots of girls and being chased by them a lot (every single one of which I've avoided). Theres plenty of decent guys out there. Yes I agree they are hard to find (none of my friends are virgins), but you're strong! Keep it up - its worth the wait. 
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harryzcool
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 10-19-2005 Location:
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posted on 10-21-2005 at 11:46 |
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wait gurl
im a guy im 24 im waiting till now. i get frustrated many times. but still not enuf. i wanna build acreer b4 thinking of relationships.i do feel u re rite. u ll be blessed.
harry
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virgin22
Junior Member
Posts: 12
Registered: 01-16-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-16-2006 at 23:33 |
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your not alone
I'm only 22 but I am already starting to feel about the same way. I'm a guy that wants to marry another virgin. It just feels like I'll never find the right girl. Anyway, keep at it. I feel that everyone has a perfect match and if he can't wait for you he's just not it.
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arronbond
Member
Posts: 79
Registered: 01-22-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-27-2006 at 17:42 |
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whatever
im gonna be lucky to be alive i go from drink to drink when ever possible i know i shouldnt dumped many times for that but ya know i dont care im not to bothered about a decent job just some thing to live off music is my life all kinds bobmarley to the sex pistols
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cocopebbles86
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 02-03-2006 Location:
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posted on 02-03-2006 at 17:34 |
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Don't give up, girl
Trust me, there are many many men out there who will appreciate the fact that you still have your purity-at least that's what all my friends tell me... (:) Honest and truly, I feel the exact same way you do at times and I'm 19 (20 next month) and still living on Cherry Street. I think that if you've waited this long, I KNOW you will get your man. He's out there. Keep believing.
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The_Scribe
Member
Posts: 61
Registered: 02-16-2006 Location:
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posted on 02-16-2006 at 01:22 |
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Don't give up.
It's great you're waiting at you're age.
I'm a thirty year old male virgin.
I'd definitely wait for a virgin.
Anyone in or around Ohio?
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GradBoy
Senior Member
Posts: 124
Registered: 02-22-2006 Location: Va
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posted on 02-24-2006 at 16:33 |
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be patient
Dear mmmm,
I undertand you're little frustrated of waiting.. however there is something that you miss.
1. giving a full access to your b/f would not attract him especially towards marrying you.. having sex with bf will not make him your husband. Dating is nothing but getting to know each other.. the charecter, maturity, common moral values.. and so on. But the sex is something you should offer to only and only your man; your husband..
2. As you see from replies to your post, there are many virgin men over 25! Yes!!! I'm being 26 and still never touched any girl! Don't think I'm ugly, not attractive or something else.. but simple didn't meet aprropriate one i guess, or couldn't find enough time for this issue (of my previously tedious researches and studies). Moreover, most of my friends are virgin, as well.
3. Overall, it's totally meaningless to have any kind of sex with your bf before marriage.. neither should boys have sex with their girl friends prior to marrige.
Cheers,
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melvaughn
Member
Posts: 68
Registered: 06-30-2005 Location:
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posted on 02-25-2006 at 21:34 |
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Virgin
Sorry to say this, but if a guy ignore's you because you are a virgin, he was never truly interested in you or serious about you to begin with. And arn't you glad you found that out before sleeping with him? Giving a guy sex, since now a days a guy can get sex with plenty of girls by the third date, wouldn't have kept him around in the long run either. You can't use sex to keep someone interested, because sex always eventually gets boring which is why you have to have other solid factors in the relationship.
Don't think guys are ignoring you JUST because you are a virgin. Plenty of girls who are quick to jump into bed or who have sex, like the average person, get dumped and rejected an equal amount.
Besides, rather get rejected, keep your virginity and know his true intentions than get rejected after giving your body to him.
Try to find someone who has your morals or who is also a virgin, that way you will feel understood.
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GradBoy
Senior Member
Posts: 124
Registered: 02-22-2006 Location: Va
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posted on 02-25-2006 at 21:37 |
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thank you very much
quote:
Sorry to say this, but if a guy ignore's you because you are a virgin, he was never truly interested in you or serious about you to begin with. And arn't you glad you found that out before sleeping with him? Giving a guy sex, since now a days a guy can get sex with plenty of girls by the third date, wouldn't have kept him around in the long run either. You can't use sex to keep someone interested, because sex always eventually gets boring which is why you have to have other solid factors in the relationship.
Wonderful.. great explanation and advice!
Thank you very much making this clear.
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drmrd
Newbie
Posts: 9
Registered: 03-16-2006 Location:
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posted on 03-16-2006 at 22:19 |
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Stigma
I hate the fact that there is such a social stigma surrounding ones virginity. Almost every person I have EVER met is completely focused on losing their virginity or having sex whenever possible. If you are a virgin, you are harassed for being subhuman of sorts. I'm a 17 year old male, and I'm waiting. This board is helpful to me to see that there are still some left out there.
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Basket_Case
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 03-08-2006 Location:
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posted on 04-02-2006 at 14:47 |
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.
I don't know how guys can just finish somebody 'cause they're a virgin. I think it's an honour that no matter how long she wants to wait, that she wants to lose it with you. I'm also a lot more attracted to virgins then non virgins.
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Nina81
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 04-09-2006 Location:
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posted on 04-09-2006 at 02:10 |
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Keep the faith up girl!
Definitely girl!
I'm a 25 yr old virgin and can totally empathize with you!! I've dated a few men casually and they all seem to just want sex...many of them claim that if the sex is good then they are interested on getting to know the person and make the relationship serious...to me that's just all wrong and not what I want.
My ex-bf was respectul, we dated for about 2 years and we never had sex...he dumped me 'cause he felt like he wanted to meet other women @ that time(I'm sure he knew since he wasn't ready to marry and that I wouldn't lost it until marriage, then it was better to end the relationship)
...now that I look back I wish I could've lost it w/ him 'cause I was in love and felt it...even though we have different personalities and interests and we wouldn't have married...Now I wish I could find someone who respects my decision and at the same time has similar hobbies and interests.
Sometimes I feel like I will never find the guy who wants to wait and won't freak out when he finds out I'm still a virgin...many guys whenever they know you're a virgin past 22 believe you'll be clingy and will get attached.
Getting very impatient though...and waiting for a good man to come along soon!
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dreamangel
Member
Posts: 64
Registered: 02-26-2006 Location:
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posted on 04-09-2006 at 15:08 |
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Don't believe it
"many of them claim that if the sex is good then they are interested on getting to know the person and make the relationship serious"
That's a lie and an excuse. You can have 'good sex' with many people, but what's to stop a guy from leaving you when the relationship becomes stale or you are no longer connecting 'personality wize??....the guy will reject you for the next available women. A guy can have 'great' sex with a women he hates, it doens't mean he'll be anymore interested in them for a relationship.
Not to mention, I've heard many people (Guys included) claim that purely physical sex pales in comparison to sex where emotion is involved and when you're with somone you care about. Casual sex is like settling for fast-food. You don't know the person's body well enough so the sex is more 'blah' in comparison to people who have had years of sex where they know their partners responses and turn-on's.
Also, if a guy breaks off with you because it doesn't involve sex, that's a good indicator that the relationship wouldn't have worked out, even with sex in the picture. Sex will not keep a guy interested in anything serious. And if a guy isn't serious about you and can't picture you in his life in the future (as in marriage) why would you want to give your body to that person?? Why give you're body to someone who's not going to stick around in the long run? (All you'll be when they brag to their friends is that chick I had 'fun with') Aren't you 'worth' more than that? If you 'know what you want' and respect yourself, you WILL find someone likeminded eventually.
Too many people base their relationships on sex right from the beginning and then when they get married and 'burn-out' (because sex ALWAYS loses that 'spark' eventually) they are at a loss, because all they had going for them was sex.
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melvaughn
Member
Posts: 68
Registered: 06-30-2005 Location:
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posted on 04-10-2006 at 06:30 |
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Bad Lies
Quote "many of them claim that if the sex is good then they are interested on getting to know the person and make the relationship serious"
Guys must be laughing their asses off that they can use 'lines' like that and women will believe it. This is as bad as the line "If you love me you'd have sex with me"
Guys KNOW what they are saying is NOT true, but they'll say ANYTHING to get laid!
I know plenty of guys that are having 'great sex' and they have NO intentions of getting serious with the women at all. Yet, sadly that's not what the women thinks! Some men will use sex to pretend they are going to get serious when really they're just using the women and having a bit of fun...of course the women doesn't know that! Then when they break-up later the women turns bitter toward men and used.
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GradBoy
Senior Member
Posts: 124
Registered: 02-22-2006 Location: Va
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posted on 04-10-2006 at 06:33 |
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the reality
quote:
Quote "many of them claim that if the sex is good then they are interested on getting to know the person and make the relationship serious"
Guys must be laughing their asses off that they can use 'lines' like that and women will believe it. This is as bad as the line "If you love me you'd have sex with me"
Guys KNOW what they are saying is NOT true, but they'll say ANYTHING to get laid!
I know plenty of guys that are having 'great sex' and they have NO intentions of getting serious with the women at all. Yet, sadly that's not what the women thinks! Some men will use sex to pretend they are going to get serious when really they're just using the women and having a bit of fun...of course the women doens't know that!
Well said!
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virginguy81
Member
Posts: 30
Registered: 01-21-2006 Location:
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posted on 04-12-2006 at 09:15 |
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okay nina
some guys like clingy girls that is a sign of how much you are into that person and makes the guy feel like he is the most important person to you and one of them!! and when a person fells like he she is the only person who can make the other person feel that way then trust and loyalty is so much stronger!! that is a big problim with relationships these days ppl wonder and stray and there is no or very little trust!! a close relationship is a verry good thing it will bring about a very good friendship and a great future relationship for both!! after alll you mate should be your best friend and they are the ones who are going to to be there by your side till death!!! so hope i have helped a little bit? just some of my thoughts that is how i would want my relationship with a girlfriend/wife so bye for now!
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renegal30
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 04-24-2006 Location:
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posted on 04-24-2006 at 13:57 |
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virginity
I am thirty years old and have never had sex in my life. As I am getting older I desire sex more. I also desire to have a husband and a family. I have gone on dates with potential mates but all they wanted was to have sex first. Should I just give in and not wait for marriage or just wait?
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sweettart
Member
Posts: 49
Registered: 07-01-2005 Location: California
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posted on 04-26-2006 at 19:30 |
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Dating
I'm a 36 year old virgin female.I can't find a good man.
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duncan
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 02-18-2008 Location:
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posted on 02-18-2008 at 21:50 |
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My advice
Listen, I think you need to just find a good guy who genuinely cares and appreciatesyou, and then have sex. Stop putting it on this pedestal and stop blaming men who are unwilling to wait until marriage because it doesn't mean they are not "Mr. Right". Sex can truly accelerate a relationship to another level with the right person. My girlfriend is not only my friend and confidant but also my lover. She satisfies my emotional AND physical needs and I can't tell you how fulfilling and satisfying that is for man. It makes me realize that I not only am madly in love with her but I NEED her on many different levels. It makes me want to keep her as happy as possible and I always try to do this. She made me wait about 3 months for sex and in hindsight this was perfectly timed. It gave us time to get to know each other and for me to actually start to fall in love with her. It gave her time to trust me and see that I was interested in her as a person. However, from a guy's perspective, sex can be a significant part of a relationship. It's important to a guy for many reasons and you can't blame someone for having second thoughts if they find out that they can't experience a sexual relationship with you. I think you're going to run into this more and more at your age as you date older guys in their 30's who are not virgins and are used to being in sexually active relationships. Young virgin guys in their teens or early twenties are more apt to be patient and understanding because they honestly don't know any better but older guys know how frustrating the relationship will be. It doesn't make them a bad person, it just makes them wise enough to get out of the relationship now before anyone gets more hurt than they need to be.
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duncan
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 02-18-2008 Location:
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posted on 02-18-2008 at 22:04 |
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More 2 cents
'Definitely girl!
I'm a 25 yr old virgin and can totally empathize with you!! I've dated a few men casually and they all seem to just want sex...many of them claim that if the sex is good then they are interested on getting to know the person and make the relationship serious...to me that's just all wrong and not what I want.
My ex-bf was respectul, we dated for about 2 years and we never had sex...he dumped me 'cause he felt like he wanted to meet other women @ that time(I'm sure he knew since he wasn't ready to marry and that I wouldn't lost it until marriage, then it was better to end the relationship)
...now that I look back I wish I could've lost it w/ him 'cause I was in love and felt it...even though we have different personalities and interests and we wouldn't have married...Now I wish I could find someone who respects my decision and at the same time has similar hobbies and interests.
Sometimes I feel like I will never find the guy who wants to wait and won't freak out when he finds out I'm still a virgin...many guys whenever they know you're a virgin past 22 believe you'll be clingy and will get attached.
Getting very impatient though...and waiting for a good man to come along soon! '
Yep, you're right. It would have been best to lose it to your first love. I'm a guy and wish I had lost mine to my first love but she also felt strongly about waiting until marriage and that led to many problems the longer we stayed together. I didn't necessarily know it had anything to do with sex but in hindsight, I think a healthy sex life would have helped us in so many different ways. Anyway, that's water under the bridge right?! That being said, don't throw it away on the one night stand, but let me temper that by saying I also think it would be foolish to save it for "Mr. Right" who you know you will end up marrying. Experience it with a good guy who cares about you, will be patient and will appreciate you. I think you are overreacting with your fears. Find the right guy and make him wait a few weeks so you have time to get to know each other and establish some trust and depth of feeling. Then have some fun in bed! Good luck:).
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anothervirgin
Newbie
Posts: 9
Registered: 04-20-2008 Location:
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posted on 04-20-2008 at 15:19 |
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sad
I'm almost 26 and a virgin. It was a combination of shyness because of a medical problem (hydrocele at one of the testicles, after an operation for varicocele, at the age of 17; it's really just about esthetics and shouldn't be a problem while making love) and the religious beliefs I have. I really do want to find a virgin girl and make love to her only after marriage ... but don't know where to search for her. Also that's very hard for me to do because I'm a loner ... 
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