leslie
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 08-01-2005 Location:
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posted on 08-01-2005 at 16:30 |
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seperation or divorce
how do you tell young children that mom and dad want to seperate or divorce
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admin
Senior Member
Posts: 84
Registered: 08-03-2005 Location: Santa Monica, CA.
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posted on 12-07-2007 at 22:21 |
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Telling Your Children About Divorce
Here are some guidelines for telling your children when you have made the decision to separate or divorce:
1. Tell them shortly before they will see the change (typically a few days before one of the spouses moves out).
2. Try to have the whole family present (both spouses and all children).
3. Within the bounds of propriety, be honest. If at all possible, and if you can do it without assessing blame, tell them what you can about why you are divorcing. One of the most frequent complaints of children of divorce, even long after the divorce, is that they never heard any reason why their parents divorced.
4. Tell them as much as you know about when one of you plans to move out, and when they will next see the parent who is leaving.
5. Tell them as much as you know about how their lives will change (where they will live, where they will go to school, where the dog will be, etc.)
6. Reassure them that they did not cause the divorce.
7. Encourage them to ask questions, and assure them that they can ask questions later as well
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divorceguy
Newbie
Posts: 5
Registered: 12-03-2007 Location:
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posted on 12-07-2007 at 22:26 |
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Top questions children often ask or think about when their parents divorce:
1. Will I be left alone?
2. Where will I live?
3. Will I ever see Daddy (Mommy) again?
4. What happens if I get sick?
5. Will I stay with my brothers and sisters?
6. If I'm really good and never act up again, will Daddy (Mommy) come back?
7. Who will feed me? Will I have enough to eat?
8. Now that Daddy (Mommy) is leaving, will Mommy (Daddy) leave soon too?
9. My friend _____ had to move to an apartment and share a room with a brother or sister when her parents divorced. Will we do that too?
10. What did I do to cause this? Maybe it was (some recent transgression). Or maybe it was (something else they've done wrong recently). I'll make sure I never, never do that again, and then we'll all be together again
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MasonBurkhalter
Junior Member
Posts: 15
Registered: 08-20-2009 Location:
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posted on 09-24-2009 at 15:18 |
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Tell them like it is.
Tell them that its all their fault and that if you and Daddy never had them then this divorce never would have happend.
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XO_stepdad
Member
Posts: 28
Registered: 01-06-2010 Location:
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posted on 02-22-2010 at 14:26 |
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not funny
Is that what you really think masonburkhalter?
I hope not, because that is completely insane. Nobody should listen to Masonburkhalter.
If you are trying to be funny, it just isn't funny.
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mattzem
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 02-23-2010 Location:
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posted on 02-23-2010 at 23:15 |
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Just ask
Ask him about getting a divorce, he probally wants one but is to scared to ask or fears life after a divorce. You just described me excatly in my marrige. I checked out of our relationship long before we got a divorce, I completely ignored her, avioded long conversations, and prefered to be alone all the time. I avoided having sex with her, we would go sometimes 2-3 months without any itimate exchange. During our marrige i lost contact with all my freinds and family and basically became an anti social hermit. My wife finally gave me an ultimatium, get better or she wanted a divorce. In my peticular situation I was shutting myself off to protect myself from my wife breaking my heart which she did like clockwork every so often. When she offered a divorce I jumped at the chance, being to scared and cowardly to force the issue on my own without her on board.
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mattzem
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 02-23-2010 Location:
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posted on 02-23-2010 at 23:16 |
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Sorry
posted in wrong spot.
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Link_29
Member
Posts: 39
Registered: 01-08-2010 Location:
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posted on 10-22-2010 at 09:40 |
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read and be patient
I would check out this article if you are having an issue communicating a divorce to your kids, it is harder than people think, and if you have 2 kids of different ages you will have different stages of growth and different reactions to the divorce. Make sure you research enough before you just run in and tell them, you can defintly do your part in helping your kids get through your divorce in a healthy way so that they can continue a healthy mental life. check this out, it's right off this site
http://www.1st-divorce.com/divorce/tell-kids-about-divorce.html
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Tommypong
Junior Member
Posts: 16
Registered: 10-14-2010 Location:
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posted on 11-04-2010 at 15:00 |
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honesty=light
I don't get how people can actually act like they are happy when they know their marriage or relationship is over and is only getting worse...it's bad for everyone involved.
Being honest is not important enough in today's society, we watch movies and tv shows constantly showing us how to lie and how to be whoever we want to be without telling our significant others.
You need to be honest, that will lead you to the light
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nicperry11
Junior Member
Posts: 12
Registered: 04-10-2011 Location:
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posted on 05-30-2011 at 03:59 |
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Gentle Way
The nice way could be talking to your children your situation and give them a time to decide of whether they will agree to your divorce or not. Maybe children has its own idea but they cant decide it on their own. Just an idea that what they felt inside.
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